On the hunt

for symptoms that is!
I can't help it. Today I'm 5dp5dt and I'm already micro examining every twinge and persnickety element of my body. Even though every rational cell in my body is screaming that a. it's way too early for symptoms or b. any symptoms I do have are far more likely to be caused from the progesterone supplementation than anything else.
I keep thinking that if little acorn is still in there it has officially spent as much time, actually a little more at this point, in my body as it did in a dish. That makes me feel good. So here's the breakdown of my 'symptoms'...

Today:

• I am snacky all the time, not hungry just snacky. And when I say all the time I really mean about 2 hours after a meal instead of my usual 4-5. 
• At about 4:30pm I experienced a small bout of nausea. Nothing major just enough that I thought it wise to sit up and breath deeply for a few seconds. It passed within minutes. 
• I started to tear up watching Shark Week's Shark Fight show, even though I saw the same episode last year.
• I feel sleepy most of the day
• The heat gets to me even quicker than normal.
• I woke up at 4:30am and couldn't go back to sleep. Shortly after I rolled over in an attempt to refind my comfort zone and scrubbed my boob on the mattress through my bra and sleep shirt, it still hurt.

Yesterday

• At about 3pm ish we went to our local marina to eat at their dock restaurant. Excellent burgers and you get to fed the fish and geese. I spent the entire time feeling off, not quite nauseous, but more like my equiblibrium was off. Since the entire restaurant is on a floating dock that might not be too weird except never in my life has that bothered me and I've spent a fair amount of time on boats and docks.
• The heat oh the heat I feel like I could swoon.
• Earlier that day at walmart grocery shopping I felt off again. This time like a panic attack was circling even though I didn't feel particularly anxious. 

Friday

• Sleepy all day but maybe that was just boredom. 
• A small case of the shakes when I forgot to eat lunch.
• There was a moment when the icing for my cake wasn't working and I had just discovered that my stove's bake element is broken that I felt out of control anger. I threw out the icing and then sulked in bed til I got a grip on it.

Previously in the week/Continuous

• Discovered that I can no longer wait to eat upon waking. Usually I piddle around for a couple of hours and eat when I'm good and ready no consequences. Not now. 30 minutes after I get up I'm shaking and need to eat.
• Gassy, Bloated, and Constipated. OH freaking Joy.
• The occosional random twinge in my lower stomach area. 
• I feel like I can smell everything.

So I know that most of this is just hyper attentiveness to my body and the things that aren't are just side effects from the supplemental hormones but if I'm going to obsess about them in my head might as well put them down on paper too.

I also secretly tried to sniff out if maybe just maybe DH might cave and let me take an hpt early just to see but uh-uh he's not having any of it.
Normally at this point in my cycle I would be spotting about now, and thankfully I haven't had any of that. Again I know that I probably wouldn't given that's kinda part of what the progesterone is for but it does make me feel a little better.

4 days until Beta day and we find out if little acorn has stuck around for us.

Sunday Phone Call

Last night I saw the most beautiful amazing thing. We were driving home from the mexican restuarant, not my finest decision but we'll get to that, and all of a sudden the sky started to lighten. I leaned forward to look up and out the windshield half expecting to see like a helicopter or something. Instead I saw a large globule of light plunging across the sky. As it reached the zenith it turned brilliant green and then poof. Exploded into hundreds of thousands of tiny white embers. I stared awestruck. I don't know what it was. I want to think that it was a beautiful shooting star and a wonderful omen. I know rationally that it could just as well have been a stray firework or flare gun or space debris. There's really no telling for sure but it was beautiful.
TMI Alert : So odd to start my night off with something so spectacular considering how the rest of it went. At around 10:30 while I sitting in bed waiting the prescribed hour between my estrace and endometrium pills I started to cramp. Sharp mean cramps. They would fade in and then fade out leaving me breathless at first with their intentisty and then 15 minutes later come back around. I immediately went to the bad scenerio of it might be the medications. But then again everytime we eat mexican I have to use the bathroom. In fact in previous years after mexican was the only time I got a good bowel movement. That's changed recently but I digress. I assumed that maybe that was a cause and here in a few minutes I'd be sent charging to the bathroom to empty myself. That never happened. What happened instead was from 10:30pm to 5:30 am I had cramps off and on every 15 minutes of the night. I was able to use the bathroom a couple of times but it was a strain and not the usual mass exodus. This morning I am still kinda sore from all the repeated interior clenching. I plan on going to the store and getting some fiber rich foods since I was warned that the endometrium and estrace could cause severe constipation. Maybe I'll even get some metamuciel like the old folks do. 
All of that however made my 8:00 phone call come really early. Shane our embryologist called with our acorn's daily report. Still a grade 1, our little embryo has grown from 4 cells to 7. At this point they like to see it be an 8 cell. So even though our beautiful embryo is a grade 1 with perfect symmetry and no fragmentation that little difference is enough to make me worry. I know right now I shouldn't worry there's really no reason to but its so hard not to. Shane has decided to peek in on our acorn tomorrow and see how its doing since we are coming from so far away. That in and of itself also worries me. Is she afraid that our embryo will arrest between today and Tuesday and that we'll come down there bright and early only to discover there will be no transfer? See what happens always going to the dark place. That's what IF does to you I guess.