I woke up at 4:30am this morning and even though it was almost 30 minutes before the alarm clock would go off I couldn't stand to stay in bed for even one more minute. So up and at 'em. I took a shower, got dressed, cut up a cantaloupe for breakfast, and started the very uncomfortable, at least for me, process of filling my bladder. We left the house a little after 5:00.
The long drive to Chattanooga is luckily absolutely gorgeous in the mornings. We have to cross monteagle mountain which is small compared to the mountains out west but large in this area. In the mornings the sun rises in the direction we are traveling and low lying fog clouds carress the valleys and shadows left behind. Some mornings it looks like fluffy pink crowns haloing the green mattress of the mountains. Others it looks like at any moment you will cross through this dense wall of white and come out on a magical land on the other side. Of course the other side is never too magical just more interstate and beautiful tennessee countryside. Further on down the line if we get an early enough start we cross the river with its floating green islands, fog steaming off the surface and glistening streaks of brilliant white, orange, and pink cascading in brilliant water color. It is a beautiful trip.
This morning however I was so concentrated on my overly full bladder and the excitement building that I probably didn't notice too much of the beauty around me. I guess since I got a slightly earlier start I was a little too full by the time we reached the clinic. I paced in little circles trying desperately to hold my bladder, oh my. But thankfully they got me back rather quickly cause it was becoming an iffy situation. Shane explained that our acorn was now a grade 1 morula and looked great, just about a half a day behind which should be nothing to worry about and then handed me a picture, that I barely had time to look at. With my husband by my side they took me back in the room. Which immediately tried to set up nerves since it was the same room from my ER. I talked myself down quickly in my head. This would not hurt. Shane called my name and birthdate out from the window as she brought our little acorn out and confirmed that we were transferring one beautiful embryo. There was a lot of pressure on that poor bladder between the ultrasound on my stomach and the speculum. And then there was a little bit of an issue with the catheter. Apparently Dr. Murray said that it actually looked like my bladder was alittle too full and causing everything to kinda bend. So he had to put just a tiny crook in the end to get our little acorn into position. He set off on this odd little speech about the little engine that could and how this was the little embryo that could. He called it robust. Afterwards I raced to the bathroom for a little relief, got dressed, and after a short instructional briefing headed back home.
I keep staring at the little picture they gave us of our acorn. My fingertips gently grazing the shiny surface. It doesn't look like much more than a little bubble. But at the same time I know that potentially this could be the very first photo of my child. That little bubble could grow and grow and one day look up at me with big glassy eyes and a gummy smile.
In 9 days I go back for my beta. 9 days seems like forever and no time all at once. DH and I decided together that we'll be going beta or bust, so we'll see if I can keep myself away from the pee sticks come next week.
Its apparently also been decided amongst my family that I should do nothing for the entirety of this time and beyond if we're successful. The way everyone talks I'm a little afraid they're going to wind up locking me in a padded room for 9 months, even my father who is normally very 'you can do everything I can do and should' not too mention excruciatingly anti-lazy.
