Transfer Day!

It's transfer day! Today I am reunited with my little acorn.
I woke up at 4:30am this morning and even though it was almost 30 minutes before the alarm clock would go off I couldn't stand to stay in bed for even one more minute. So up and at 'em. I took a shower, got dressed, cut up a cantaloupe for breakfast, and started the very uncomfortable, at least for me, process of filling my bladder. We left the house a little after 5:00.
The long drive to Chattanooga is luckily absolutely gorgeous in the mornings. We have to cross monteagle mountain which is small compared to the mountains out west but large in this area. In the mornings the sun rises in the direction we are traveling and low lying fog clouds carress the valleys and shadows left behind. Some mornings it looks like fluffy pink crowns haloing the green mattress of the mountains. Others it looks like at any moment you will cross through this dense wall of white and come out on a magical land on the other side. Of course the other side is never too magical just more interstate and beautiful tennessee countryside. Further on down the line if we get an early enough start we cross the river with its floating green islands, fog steaming off the surface and glistening streaks of brilliant white, orange, and pink cascading in brilliant water color. It is a beautiful trip.
This morning however I was so concentrated on my overly full bladder and the excitement building that I probably didn't notice too much of the beauty around me. I guess since I got a slightly earlier start I was a little too full by the time we reached the clinic. I paced in little circles trying desperately to hold my bladder, oh my. But thankfully they got me back rather quickly cause it was becoming an iffy situation. Shane explained that our acorn was now a grade 1 morula and looked great, just about a half a day behind which should be nothing to worry about and then handed me a picture, that I barely had time to look at. With my husband by my side they took me back in the room. Which immediately tried to set up nerves since it was the same room from my ER. I talked myself down quickly in my head. This would not hurt. Shane called my name and birthdate out from the window as she brought our little acorn out and confirmed that we were transferring one beautiful embryo. There was a lot of pressure on that poor bladder between the ultrasound on my stomach and the speculum. And then there was a little bit of an issue with the catheter. Apparently Dr. Murray said that it actually looked like my bladder was alittle too full and causing everything to kinda bend. So he had to put  just a tiny crook in the end to get our little acorn into position. He set off on this odd little speech about the little engine that could and how this was the little embryo that could. He called it robust. Afterwards I raced to the bathroom for a little relief, got dressed, and after a short instructional briefing headed back home.
I keep staring at the little picture they gave us of our acorn. My fingertips gently grazing the shiny surface. It doesn't look like much more than a little bubble. But at the same time I know that potentially this could be the very first photo of my child. That little bubble could grow and grow and one day look up at me with big glassy eyes and a gummy smile.

We are over the moon excited at this point. I am officially PUPO and plan to enjoy every second of this momentous time that I can. I am sending tons of loving sticky vibes at my little acorn, envisioning myself as a fertile earth where the little acorn can be planted and grow to its full potential.
In 9 days I go back for my beta. 9 days seems like forever and no time all at once. DH and I decided together that we'll be going beta or bust, so we'll see if I can keep myself away from the pee sticks come next week.
Its apparently also been decided amongst my family that I should do nothing for the entirety of this time and beyond if we're successful. The way everyone talks I'm a little afraid they're going to wind up locking me in a padded room for 9 months, even my father who is normally very 'you can do everything I can do and should' not too mention excruciatingly anti-lazy.

A Little Update

We've being having internet difficulties so I haven't been able to jump on here and update as often as I might have liked lately.
So the quick rundown...
Dh went for his testing almost two weeks back. The RE office has decided to keep the results tight-lipped so I'm assuming that they're bad and are waiting to tell me in person.
My first ever monitoring appointment went well. The vag cam was not a horrible as I had imagined it to be, in fact pap smears hurt so much worse. The RE on call that day was not the doctor we originally saw but his partner. I found I liked her almost as much as I liked the original dr, so all in all I feel pretty confident I'm in good hands no matter the day. She said I had ' a lot of eggs' and she said in kinda a surprised tone of voice. Which naturally confuses me. Perhaps she meant follicles, since aren't we supposed to only grow and release one maybe two unless otherwise medicated?
We still haven't gotten the results back on my Counsyl testing, but I'm hoping that will be in soon.
But I did receive a note from my doctor saying that the results from the other testing was back and that we had an outstanding prognosis from an egg production standpoint. Whoop, I guess?
The blood draw hurt like a mother for some reason and now a little over a week later I still have a big nasty purple and green bruise in the crook of my elbow. It will surprise me greatly if it is gone completely by my next appointment.
Which by the way is scheduled for Monday. We go back in to go over all the results and to get our plan of action.
Dh and I have already decided to go with Natural Cycle IVF since we really can't afford the full blown variety, and I refuse to get a loan. The idea of writing a check every month if it should fail is in and of itself already so depressing, I refuse to consider it. We're hoping that the RE will let us do a slightly altered version of Natural IVF with clomid, so it would kinda sorta be Mini IVF and that that type of protocol wouldn't raise the price too much. I would really like to have more than one harvestable egg, to up our chances. The way I see it once you get a transferable embryo the chance for it to take is really no less than regular IVF its the getting that embryo that drags the NCIVF stats way down.
Switching gears really quickly, as far as my foot goes, the pain has almost moved back into the realm of background noise even though we're still waiting for the orthotics to come in. Heck I'm still waiting for the confirmation that the orthotics will even be made. We'll see.

One final IF related note.
I got really angry at a Regions radio commercial the other day. It started off innocuously enough talking about a kitchen remodel. Which eventually moved into homemade baby food. Which wasn't that bad. It was the slight pause after the mention of homemade baby food and the statement 'Move your life forward' that just flew all over me.
I also teared up at the Publix mother's day commercial, the one with the mother and daughter making pinwheels and the daughter talks to the belly. Gah!
And I had a mini tantrum in private at what seemed like the 100th mention of mother's day over the radio station that we play at the store.
I just want to keep the tv off for the rest of weekend and avoid as much of this mother's day crap as possible.

Our first vist

Today was our first visit to the RE.
I was so nervous this morning as we headed out for our hour and a half drive. We meet up with a cousin of mine in Chattanooga and had a late breakfast with him and his beautiful almost 2 year old daughter. We had decided to see them before the appointment because I knew without a doubt I wouldn't be in the right frame of mind afterwards. No less than three people mis-identified me as her mommy at the restaurant. So much so in fact that even after being told twice what meal went on what ticket somehow my husband's got separated from mine and my meal wound up on my cousin's tab. So very glad I had the foresight to do our little meet up before instead of after, as those are the little things that sting. However it was still nice seeing them, I haven't visited in almost a year. The wee little one is growing up beautifully and is so smart and advanced in comparison to my niece. She can count to 5, sing Old McDonald and the Itsy Bitsy spider, identify her colors and shapes, and sing the first part of her ABC's. Just a brilliant little girl.
After breakfast and our little visit we headed down to the clinic and waited for them to open back up, because it was apparently lunch time. The clinic wasn't quite what I expected but the ladies at the front desk were really nice. I thought it was pretty cool when they took our pictures to put on the charts. After a little paperwork the nurse got my weight and blood pressure which was apparently perfect. Surprising considering I had sweaty clammy palms. Dh kept trying to make jokes and be chipper. I just wanted him to be quiet while we waited for the Dr.
After a little while they ushered us back to Dr. Murray's office. He seems friendly, very personable, not at all rigid or stiff. He went over the testing we'd already had done and said that it seemed like everything was okay with me so far. Little sigh of relief there. But of course he wants to redo some of the testing and add in a few more of his own, which I understand since all those tests are already over a year old now. We talked very in depth about DH's issues and his hormone levels and his previous SA's and about how the male body works. He explained how IUI works and IVF which honestly yeah I didn't need that little refresher course. He very briefly glossed over the costs for a Natural Cycle IVF and for a Conventional IVF. I mean briefly. NCIVF would be 4,500 a cycle. IVF we're looking at 15k. Ugh. A little higher than I originally anticipated. But before he would go into any kind of depth with me about their IVF programs he wants to rule out retrograde ejaculation as the cause of our MFI. Retrograde ejaculation is where all or a portion of the ejaculate goes into the bladder instead of out into the world like its supposed to. He said that all the hormones are there and he should be at peak sperm making capacity right now. And that, ooo something I didn't have a clue about!, if they found alot of semen in his urine that it could be washed and used for an IUI. Also that retrograde ejaculation is highly treatable.
The plan as of this moment.... Dh will be taking sodium bicarbonate tablets (isn't that just baking soda?) to alkalize his urine to get it the correct ph for sperm to live. Then using test strips (I find it mildly funny that DH gets a turn at peeing in a cup, lol) he'll check to see when it gets there. Then he'll schedule an SA. Travel down to the clinic. And give them two samples, one of semen and the other of urine. They will wash them both and get the results. As for me I'm supposed to call in at CD1 and schedule my next slew of blood testing. FSH, Estradiol, and AMH and an ultrasound for antral follicle count. We've also decided to do the Counsyl genetic testing on both of us at this time.
If Dh does have retrograde ejaculation we'll start treatment for that in hopes of 'getting pregnant at home' as the doctor said several times. If he doesn't, the Dr. recommended we do karyotyping on DH to rule out a chromosomal defect which would be hereditary and untreatable. Not sure if we'd go that route or not.     
But at any rate that was it. We were there for about 2 hours. I was surprised and little disappointed that we didn't get to cover all my questions but oddly enough at the same time a little bit relieved that Dr. Murray didn't push IVF immediately. He did say that if we choose that route we could cycle in as little as two weeks, after the decision depending on the arrival of Cd1. So there's that.