It's really happening now

I almost can't believe that after this long of a wait that we're finally moving forward. It seems so surreal. I've 'known' for over a year and 3 months that IVF was our only option. I 'knew' it after Dh's first SA. A small part of me suspected it a while before that. To know where we would eventually end up and still have to go this long has been tortuous but while I knew and accepted the inevitibility of our situation sometimes it takes other people longer to catch up. Dh was one of those people. And now, we're almost there. One more cycle between me and the end of the proverbial road.
Today I had my SIS or saline sonogram, got some blood taken, did the nurse education class, and paid for our IVF cycle (excepting meds).  Since Dr. Murray wasn't available today I saw Dr. Scotchie again. The SIS wasn't at all what I was expecting as far as discomfort levels. It hurt less than a regular pap smear which was honestly quite a relief and I didn't cramp at all. Dr. Scotchie showed me my 'perfect' and 'cooperative' uterus on the screen though in most situations it just looked like a black blob to me. I'll take her word for it. Then with a big smile she said 'the home is ready and waiting.' I couldn't help but smile back.
I took my mother with me this time when I visited the clinic simply because a. its a long ass drive down there and b. I didn't know how I would react to the SIS . She stayed with me for the whole appointment and as we were going through the nurse education class I think the severity and complexity of the situation finally hit her. I've tried to explain it to her before but it wasn't until the nurse started going over my meds list and how to mix and give myself shots that you could see it truly dawning on her. She seemed almost over whelmed even though I was prepared to hear just about everything the nurse had to say thanks to my wonderfully amazing internet friends.
I can't even imagine how much more overwhelmed she would have been if we were doing conventional IVF instead of Natural/Mini.
Then the blood draw which was way better than the last time. No bruise!
Then it was time to pay for our cycle. That stung quite a bit more than the blood draw. All that money, all that time, all that pain from working, all of it gone in a matter of seconds with no guarantee that I'll have anything to show for it in the end. But maybe I will and if that's the case its more than worth it.
I've got eight hundred dollars left in the fund with the option to put maybe another 4 in when my final paychecks hit. It should be more than enough to pay for my final meds. Dr. Murray suggested I save at least 500 for them and that by saving a thousand I should be more than covered.
This is happening. Holy crap.
When we got in the car to go home my mom just sorta rested her hands on the steering wheel and with this fierce scowl says "I hate Phil right now." I just laughed. I know she doesn't mean it. All she sees is HER baby going through something terribly invasive, painful, and emotionally distressing.
When we finally parted ways for the day she hugged me extra tight big shiny eyes and said quietly into my hair, 'I wish you didn't have to go through this.' Yeah me too, mom. But this is life, my life in particular.
Well tonight is an overnight at work. My last overnight!! Whoohoo. But having gotten up at 5:30 this morning with only a three hour nap this afternoon I expect it to be one heck of a night. Boo. But it's the last one. And then there's only three more working days til I'm free!

A Little Update

We've being having internet difficulties so I haven't been able to jump on here and update as often as I might have liked lately.
So the quick rundown...
Dh went for his testing almost two weeks back. The RE office has decided to keep the results tight-lipped so I'm assuming that they're bad and are waiting to tell me in person.
My first ever monitoring appointment went well. The vag cam was not a horrible as I had imagined it to be, in fact pap smears hurt so much worse. The RE on call that day was not the doctor we originally saw but his partner. I found I liked her almost as much as I liked the original dr, so all in all I feel pretty confident I'm in good hands no matter the day. She said I had ' a lot of eggs' and she said in kinda a surprised tone of voice. Which naturally confuses me. Perhaps she meant follicles, since aren't we supposed to only grow and release one maybe two unless otherwise medicated?
We still haven't gotten the results back on my Counsyl testing, but I'm hoping that will be in soon.
But I did receive a note from my doctor saying that the results from the other testing was back and that we had an outstanding prognosis from an egg production standpoint. Whoop, I guess?
The blood draw hurt like a mother for some reason and now a little over a week later I still have a big nasty purple and green bruise in the crook of my elbow. It will surprise me greatly if it is gone completely by my next appointment.
Which by the way is scheduled for Monday. We go back in to go over all the results and to get our plan of action.
Dh and I have already decided to go with Natural Cycle IVF since we really can't afford the full blown variety, and I refuse to get a loan. The idea of writing a check every month if it should fail is in and of itself already so depressing, I refuse to consider it. We're hoping that the RE will let us do a slightly altered version of Natural IVF with clomid, so it would kinda sorta be Mini IVF and that that type of protocol wouldn't raise the price too much. I would really like to have more than one harvestable egg, to up our chances. The way I see it once you get a transferable embryo the chance for it to take is really no less than regular IVF its the getting that embryo that drags the NCIVF stats way down.
Switching gears really quickly, as far as my foot goes, the pain has almost moved back into the realm of background noise even though we're still waiting for the orthotics to come in. Heck I'm still waiting for the confirmation that the orthotics will even be made. We'll see.

One final IF related note.
I got really angry at a Regions radio commercial the other day. It started off innocuously enough talking about a kitchen remodel. Which eventually moved into homemade baby food. Which wasn't that bad. It was the slight pause after the mention of homemade baby food and the statement 'Move your life forward' that just flew all over me.
I also teared up at the Publix mother's day commercial, the one with the mother and daughter making pinwheels and the daughter talks to the belly. Gah!
And I had a mini tantrum in private at what seemed like the 100th mention of mother's day over the radio station that we play at the store.
I just want to keep the tv off for the rest of weekend and avoid as much of this mother's day crap as possible.